Grumpy Cat

So… my cat has started to pee on things. It started a few weeks back (I think?) when a neighbor’s cat got stuck in our stairwell. Ever since then my kitty has steadily refused his litter box.

About two weeks ago, I took him to the vet and asked them to run some tests. My thinking was “Let’s just make sure this isn’t a real health issue behind all this.” After $300, I now know that my cat isn’t sick. He is a perfectly healthy 15 year old jerk.
62385788The pee fest continues.
I’ve tried everything- from an additional litter box, a new litter box, new litter, old litter, feliway, some organic “calm the f*ck down” cat spray… Though he is now only peeing in one place, he is still not peeing in his actual litter box. He will only pee on pee pads. Oh, and the place he wants to pee? Right in front of the door.
A manager at my local PetSmart thinks this may be my cat’s way of “protecting his pride” after the neighborhood cat got indoors. He sensed a disturbance in the force, and wants to make sure that his humans are safe from the intruders. He has also taken to sleeping in the hall right between our room and Chick’s room, as a sentry on watch. Cute, but could we do it WITHOUT THE URINE?!
Anyone else out there who has dealt with crazy cat behavior? I’m about to loose my shit with all this pee. (Yes, I do see why that is funny. Even in the midst of a pee-fueled war with my cat, I can find the humor in things.)


  1. g2the4thpower · November 30, 2015

    Oh that’s awful. My old roommate’s cat did that to a new roommate who he was unhappy about moving in, I suppose, abs he peed on her duvet AND in her suitcase full of clothes in retaliation. Cats can be pretty evil when they feel threatened. I have zero advice, but wish you luck!

    • thecommonostrich · December 3, 2015

      Thanks– I need it! I’ve taken a new approach which is that I’m going to DOMINATE this problem with love and understanding. I don’t think he realizes why what he is doing is wrong. At the same time, I can’t live like this.

      • g2the4thpower · December 3, 2015

        It’s tough, this animal business. I’ve been giving my lick-until soaked-bedding&couch-addict more love and he’s *knock on wood* been pretty well behaved.

  2. thebarrenlibrarian · November 30, 2015

    Ugh. cat pee behaviors are awful. I have one that pee’s on anything laying on the bathroom floor. You think it would be enough inducement for me to not leave things there, but no. I still do it. Is it possible to block him from that area to see if, as an alternate, he would go back to using his litter box?

    • thecommonostrich · December 3, 2015

      Right now, I’m locking him in the kitchen (only room in our place that I can feasibly close off.) It sounds like punishment, and I feel bad about it. But at this point, I need him as far away from the pee palace he has created as possible. We’ll see how that worked out when I get home tonight.

      I also bought some special floor cleaner which is supposed to eat away at the kitty pee enzymes or something. (Yes, I am basically throwing money at the problem. Why do you ask?)

  3. thebarrenlibrarian · November 30, 2015

    Also, wtf is that apostrophe doing in between “pee” and “s”?!

    • thecommonostrich · December 3, 2015

      No worries- I also apparently am going to “loose my shit” which is not the meaning I really intended. 🙂

  4. Tiggy B · December 1, 2015

    We’ve had the same problem with tom cats getting in the house to eat my cats’ food, and then one of the cats spraying around the house in retaliation. I also have an incontinent cat. I buy the expensive cleaner, and have found the pheromone sprays to be effective, but only if you first use the good cleaner to get completely rid of the smell, and then keep up the pheromone spray at least twice a day. There are other tricks on the show “my cat from hell” but I haven’t watched it enough to remember any of them. Yes, I am a crazy cat lady.

    • thecommonostrich · December 3, 2015

      I finally put some money down and am buying a fancy cleaner. I was trying to go all old school using vinegar and water, but that wasn’t working.

      I’m *this* close to calling for a My Cat From Hell Intervention…

  5. lovingthemarriedlife · December 1, 2015

    HUGS! atleast he loves you lol! sorry I’m sure this is not very funny to you! I do not have any cats (severly allergic) but I have a dog (actually my oldest step sons dog) that will pee in my stepsons room if another dog or person with another dog wanders into his room!

  6. thecommonostrich · December 3, 2015

    I knoooow though! He does love us. In fact, he has taken to cuddling with me and Chick while I’m nursing, which just the sweetest. The peeing, however, is not. NOT.

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