a) I’m having a baby shower. Only I refuse to call it a baby shower because the idea of one gives me hives. Instead, I have insisted on having it co-ed and at a brewery to distance myself from the whole shower concept. If possible, I would probably have it in a parking lot of a 7-Eleven, but even I’m aware some societal norms must be observed. I’m clearly in denial, so henceforth it will be called a “Baby Celebration.”
b) There are currently 78 likely attendees. 78?! I don’t even like that many people!
How the hell did this happen? Just a few months ago, I seriously entertained the idea of never telling anyone I was pregnant until Chick turned 18. And now I’m having a non-shower for 78 people.
Pardon me as I go into hiding…