Our Choice to Terminate

One of the unusual side effects of my experience with infertility is that I have become steadfastly pro-choice. Though I’ve always supported an individual’s right to control her body, IF has given me an entirely new perspective on what “Reproductive Choice” means.

Before anyone freaks out, I’m not all “Yay! Abortions are great!!!” In fact, the decision to terminate a pregnancy can be exceptionally hard. As a society, we do ourselves a disservice when we pass judgement on these choices, because few of us have had to make this call.

The debate over abortion is so heated in large part because we reduce the discussion to black and white scenarios. The truth is most of us live our lives in shades of gray.

With that in mind, I hope you’ll read My Perfect Breakdown’s recent post about her decision to terminate her pregnancy (reblogged with her permission.) I admire her honesty, and urge you to listen to her story from a place of compassion– not judgement and fear.

My Perfect Breakdown

We chose to terminate one of our pregnancies. I’ve written about it only once, and re-posted it on another blog, 1 in 10, dedicated to sharing stories of women who have terminated for medical reasons (TFMR).

On August 14, 2013 we ended our precious baby girl’s life. Since we said goodbye to our little girl it has been:

616 days,or

1 year, 8 months and 8 days, or

88 weeks, or

14,784 hours, or

887,040 minutes, or

53,222,400 seconds.

I do not spend a lot of time writing or talking about the way in which our third pregnancy ended for two reasons. First, simply, it’s hard on me to remember that day, yet not a day goes by that I don’t remember.

I long to hold our little girl in my womb for just one more day.

20150422 - My Choice to TerminateI would give anything to have had a healthy little girl who could…

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  1. bionicbrooklynite · April 24, 2015

    I am so glad this title isn’t yours. It gave me quite a fright, seeing that in my reader.

    It is a good post, though.

    • thecommonostrich · April 27, 2015

      Goodness me, I didn’t mean to cause alarm! This whole IF business has made me more aware of the importance of true reproductive choice. The decision to have (or not have) a child is so deeply personal, I can’t imagine how we can continue passing judgement on other people’s choices.

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