My Date with an RE

So I just got back from my first appointment with my RE. And I love her. LOVE.

Dr. Petrel* is exactly what I was hoping she would be. She answered almost every question before I could ask it. The few I did outright ask, she answered truthfully– if even to say that she wouldn’t know until more tests were done. Dr. Petrel also kind of reminds me of my mom. If my mom were a straight-talking reproductive endocrinologist. I feel soooo much better.

Here’s what we covered:

1) Dr. Petrel isn’t recommending that we re-do tests, but she does want to do a few more. Because of Mr. O’s Eastern European and French-Canadian heritage, she wants to do some genetic testing on him. She also wants to do a Sonohysterogram and some additional blood work on me. But that’s it.

2) She is recommending that we go directly to IVF. Do not try IUI, do not collect $200. Basically, Dr. Petrel thinks we’ve done enough with Clomid. IUI isn’t likely to yield better results. The frugal side of me wants to be spending the most of our insurance max on the most expensive treatments, so I feel good about this. But it is sorta like jumping into the deep end. I will freakout about this more at a later date.

When I spoke with my insurance, they require 6 rounds of something before they’ll approve IVF. I really hope the Great Clomid Experiment counts. My friend at the Infertility Hotline said it would, but I want to double check. Because, you know… my insurance company sucks.

3) As long as all the additional tests come back in good shape, we’ll likely get down to business in October. I’m actually totally down with this. I’d like to do one more cycle without any medication- start off with a clean slate. I also have a half marathon in October, so I can train for it without worrying what that’s doing to my chances.

At the end of the appointment, Mr. O and I went to get our blood drawn for the tests. He had to get back to work, so he went in first. I went in afterwards. Without knowing we were together, they sat us right across from each other. And we started laughing. It was kind of nice, in a weird way. I mean, I guess it’s nice that we can still find things funny.

Afterwards, I hopped in the car and started to drive home. Keep in mind, I just had a good visit with the doctor (or at least not a miserable one.) But I was also coming down off that high and settling deep into “I can’t believe this is my life.” I’m trying to take this in stride, but let’s face it… that is a doctor’s appointment I never thought I’d need.

As I’m driving down the highway, I signal to merge into the next lane. I see a car in my rear view, but he is far enough away to see me coming. In the 10 seconds from when I saw the car to when I merged, this asshole is up on my tail and honking like he is on fire. Then, he speeds up along side my car and makes an obscene gesture. Next, he cuts me off.

For real, buddy… Nothing you’re doing is that important. If it were, you’d have a siren on top of your vehicle.  At first I was all “You ass hat, did you just come from an infertility clinic because you’ve been trying for over 2 YEARS to have a baby? No? I didn’t think so!” Then I realized I have no idea what he is going through. Maybe he just learned that his mansion burned down. Or his yacht sunk to the bottom of the ocean. (Yes, he was driving an expensive car. And yes, I’m making some terrible generalizations about older white men who drive nice cars.)

Basically, it was a good reminder that we have no idea what other people are going through. So if I need to extend a little compassion to another person today, I can do that.

*Not her real name. You know the drill…



  1. wtfovaries · August 7, 2014

    Glad the appointment went well!!

    • thecommonostrich · August 8, 2014

      Thanks! It was nice to have a doctor’s appointment go well, actually. Being talked to like an adult? SHOCKING!

  2. julieann081 · August 7, 2014

    I’m so glad that your appointment went well. Yes, jumping into IVF may be scary, but I know you can do this! ❤ I'm sorry to hear about the rude driver. It is true that we never know what another person is going through. I try to remember that all the time because it makes life so much more calm. Hugs to you!

    • thecommonostrich · August 8, 2014

      Thanks! I’m so relieved. I had built it up in my head so much.

  3. Haisla · August 7, 2014

    So pleased you had a good meet-up with your RE and that things are moving forward!!! xx

    • thecommonostrich · August 8, 2014

      Thanks, dear! I’m so relieved to be moving forward in a meaningful way. I feel like my number has finally been called at the deli counter…

  4. labmonkeyftw · August 7, 2014

    Hurrah that Dr. Petrel is exactly what you wanted, and if you have an insurance max, and clomid hasn’t gotten you where you want, then it makes sense to go to IVF directly even if that feels like a high dive instead of a toe-dip. My RE has the same philosophy. The odds really are just SO much better than anything with IUI.
    If I am not currently hosting a floating dividing ball of cells that chooses in the next two days to burrow into me, then October and IVF is our plan too. So you’ll have some solidarity on the blog roll should we both be there (and hopefully we won’t be).

    • thecommonostrich · August 8, 2014

      Thanks! I’m really happy with how that first meeting went. I actually trust her and her office- they have their shit together.

      Of course, I hope that you don’t join me in October and that you’re hosting a wee one by then. 🙂

  5. bionicbrooklynite · August 9, 2014

    You know what’s great about ivf? Data. You get data. I know information isn’t the same as control, but it’s a hell of a lot better than nothing. As you know, I had all kinds of reservations and anxieties about doing it, both the process and what doing it Meant about me As A Person. But what if turned out to mean was that I pregnant. It’s not like it’s no big deal, but it was very different from what is expected. And the outcome in my case is hard to quibble with. May it be so for you.

    • thecommonostrich · August 12, 2014

      YES. That’s what I’m most excited about with IVF (other than the obvious getting pregnant part.)

      To be very honest, I haven’t thought to much about IVF so I haven’t worked up any anxieties about it. Mostly, it still seems like some far away, mythical concept. Like fairies and underwear that doesn’t give me a wedgie.

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