I work with this woman… Let’s call her Myna*.
Myna is one of those people who expresses her ignorance with gusto. Sometimes, she has no idea that she sounds like a jerk. Other times she knows it, admits it, but will take the trouble of justifying herself. It’s weird.
Like this one time I was hosting a donation drive for a local Boys & Girls Club. She comes over to my desk where we’re collecting the needed items, and asks how the drive is going.
Me: “It’s going really well, but we could always use more!” Nudge, nudge, wink, wink
Myna: “Well, everyone is always asking for something.”
I was collecting sunscreen and beach towels for at-risk children attending summer camp.
Let’s just say that she and I don’t always share the same world view.
Today she and I were talking about keepsakes from loved ones. You know, like your grandmother’s china, Aunt Bessie’s sapphire tennis bracelet… Because everyone comes from that kind of privilege.
Anyway, she was talking about how her great aunt left a whole bunch of things to her. At some family event down the road, her cousin sees her wearing Great Aunt Whatever’s necklace. Cousin makes some snide comment. Myna says Great Aunt Whatever gave it to me, so suck it.
“I mean, she never got married, doesn’t have any kids. What does she want the necklace for?”
I don’t know… to WEAR IT? To feel connected to her dead Great Aunt?
This actually echoes something I’ve heard several times over the last few weeks. Or perhaps I’m just more sensitive to it now.
People who don’t have children shouldn’t have any right to family heirlooms. Because we’ll all insist on being buried with our treasure like Egyptian Pharaohs? What?
Really, all us childless, barren, old biddies should just live in squalor and leave all nice things to people who can have kids.
Admittedly, Myna has no idea of my IF woes. But I don’t think that really lets her off the hook. Regardless of whether or not I can have children, I don’t think anyone is more entitled to the memory of a loved one than anyone else.
Like I said, she and I don’t share the same world view.
*Nope. Not her real name.